again?!

I'm not going to lie, I’ve been reading a lot, I mean A LOT! I just finished Tuesdays with Morrie, To Own A Dragon, and I'm in the process of reading The Purpose Driven life for Graduates (I know It's cheesy but it was a graduation gift from a super sweet woman and it actually is really good) and I'm getting ready to read At Ease: Stories I Tell to Friends, I read a lot. But it seems everywhere I turn in my reading they're talking about love! I mean EVERYWHERE! It's kinda spooky really, Tuesdays with Morrie was all about love, To Own a Dragon was all about love and the last couple pages-strike that-the whole Purpose Driven Life book is about love! I'm coming to realize that this is a big deal! Not just in relationships and how to get along in life and being the greatest commandment, it's kinda like the secret of life! If you live a life truly loving god then everything is suppose to fall into place and I believe it does! If you love god you won't want to sin and do stupid things, this is what I’ve been praying for for at least a year! And now it's hitting me!
But how do you love god? Yes you show god love by obeying, him which you do out of love, but how do you fall in love w/ god? I realize he’s probably been “wooing” me since I was in the woomb (haha) but I just can't seem to wrap my mind around it at the moment…I'll keep you posted.

learning to love

gods been teaching me a lot, a lot about love. it all started when i went to charlotte for the weekend and hung out with a very special three year old, my niece; she is very near and dear to my heart (i try not to be obsessed) but she is three...and that is a very difficult age to me, she hasnt been this age yet so i havent yet learned how to deal w/ three year olds! but i learned that weekend what i thought was how to deal with three year olds but have been discovering its really how to deal with people! i noticed in stella if she was getting upset, or anytime, if i spoke to her out of love and not out of frustration she immediately responded positively!

since that weekend i have been slowly learning how to love everyone! how to speak to people out of love, how to give and receive love. it has been hard for me because i love all my friends and family very dearly, more than any words could describe but it is extremely hard for me to show love its not just three year olds that respond to it, its everyone!

"the greatest command is this, love the lord your god with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind"-the bible

"love each other or perish"-someone

somewhere in the bible it says the biggest thing to know is to know jesus, to know his every move which means youd have to love him. love him like your son, love him like your husband, love him like yourself.

lord i crave more of you! i desperately want to know you, and i want you to know me, i want to love you more than ive ever loved in my life! i need more!!!

i notice things

i notice a lot of things in life, if there is one thing i have learned from rob falvo it is how to notice things (and to not judge them as right and wrong but ill try not to get into that.) so what ive been noticing with this blog is that i have so much to say, i mean a lot of stuff goes through this head every day, but i dont want to just blab about something for a couple pages; every blog that ive seen are meaningful and have messages but im just not sure i work like that! i mean my brain isnt exactly organized like that, i just say what i feel and sometimes people will understand it and sometimes they just dont! theres a little bit of pressure here to perform here! (especially with grammer and puncuation-which im bad at.....) i just wont accept that, its my blog and if i want to ramble i can ramble! they're my feelings arent they? i can just do what i want with them!

now i have a lot of things to say, but i will try to keep it readable due to the fact that i know i wouldnt read something if its incredibly long. i feel i need to explain myself and let you get to know me (for those people who look at blogs of people they dont know) but im not going to do that. most of the people who are going to be reading this already know me so phoo! here are things that are new in my life

-ive gotten a job at Our Daily Bread, its great, i like it, i like to work. its a little stressful because im not comfortable there but the people are nice and im making a little money
-i just took some more headshots with my friend drn which are amazing!
-ive gained some weight (like 6 pounds) which is really bugging me and i cant go to the gym cause ive graduated so i have to find an alternative exercise routine.....which brings about
-eating.....i still struggle w/ eating habits, i thought i found the solution at the last morningstar retreat (asking god to enjoy what im eating) but ive still been overeating and just focusing on "it" too much-but-
-I'VE GRADUATED COLLEGE!!! and this is probably the biggest thing to happen in my life thus far (minus a couple of things) and im really proud of myself for making it through!

so those are the biggest things that i want to throw out there that are happening in my life; and maybe now i wont feel so intimidated to post on my own blog!

I've done it

I did it, i started a blog...ive been thinking about doing it for a while, and now ive done it. more on this later...