I've been learning...

i just had an amazing journal time that i must share, especially with you ladies! so listen up while the anointing is still good!!

ive been learning about dwellers, bad things happen when a human dwells, things like judging yourself which leads to self-confidence issues! Booooo!!! i have been doing this lately, im going to the beach in a week so ive been trying to look a little better (enh!!) now my mind wants me to lose 5 pounds so ive been working out, which ive been doing all along, but i dont feel like super watching what i eat-thats a pain!- even as i write this im feeling that nasty spirit!

WERE NOT SUPPOSE TO JUDE OURSELVES!! GOD IS!! Duh!! so when i start to judge (myself and others) its filled with negativity, filled with lies- but when god judges it is perfect!

i know he created me to look this way and i have to trust him that he did it right and that i am just right the way i am!! someone once told me that way before god created the earth and all that, that we chose our bodies, we chose the way we wanted our earthly bodies to look! and you know what there are great things about my body! i have a gorgeous face! great hair and eyes-which the enemy has tried to take by hair pulling (by the way i have successfully gone a whole day without picking Roxanne's hairs!!!!!!! will-power-praise the lord praise the lord!!!)

in my journal i listed a pages worth of things i like about myself (which i highly recommend everyone doing!!!) but i wont do that to you guys. the point is I Am Beautiful!! God made me just the way i am suppose to be, im muscular, i probably shouldnt weight 110 lbs (and i dont)! i am beautiful head to toe- stomach, back, thighs!!!! a little cellulite is perfectly normal-a lumpy stomach is because of muscles!!

God made me and i have to trust that i am the shape i am suppose to be!!!!!!!

Praise the lord he made me right!!!!!!

Adventures in Foscoe!

oh man! i just had a return to childhood adventure out here where im house sitting! so i went to take Manna (the dog im staying with) for a walk up the hill where there used to be a field where he would run around in but they mowed it all down and its now a construction site-which brings me back to my childhood! (i grew up in an upcoming neighborhood so they were building houses all around us therefore there was a lot of mud and exploring to be had) so we went exploring up where they were breaking ground-dirt, mud, hiking. it was really cool! the first place we went was up this hill where someone had been at some point-there were tracks but it was still overgrown-and were walking (manna being a good dog and staying close-except for that one time he found something really smelly to roll around in and not listen to me.....) anyways we were walking and i see something blue and i think to myself whats this? it looks like a boat but how does a boat get up an untraveled mountain and get crashed here so i went to investigate! it turns out it was a short bus that got absolutely smashed up! it was blue with some orange the back emergency door-which had been deliberately taken off and propped up against a tree-said WE LOVE CHILDREN and the bumper said something like BIBLE WAY or BIBLE GATEWAY it was sooooo wierd! someone had dragged it up the mountain and smashed it!! then i went further on into a clearing and found some of the seats that had been torn out and thrown around (with scraps of leather still attached!) broken glass and crushed window panes were everywhere and i even saw something of some fabric white with tiny polka-dots...

that place was crazy and i even saw some charred spots where someone had obviously burned something....

the next place we went was another branch off of the main dirtway which as before had been traversed but was still overgrown and we went up, up, up and found this really cool rock alcove which was prefect for bouldering! so i helped myself and started climbing the rock a little but then realized the dog was trying as well....so i went about half way up (it wasnt that big) and manna found his own way up as well but decided to not go too far for the sake of the dog.

so we traveled on back to the main dirtway, by this time it was getting late and we were both getting tired so we just walked around and checked out the Caterpillars then decided to head back home-this is where the best part happened, right before the worst part-

we were heading back and i knew there was a little mud spot, so i stopped and picked up some mud and squished it around in my hands (there is nothing like 1: crumbling dirt in your hands and 2: the feel of mud squishing in your hands) and it was just delightful!!

then as we were heading down i spotted something orange, it was a neon orange/reddish salamander! it was THE coolest thing id ever seen!!!!it didnt even look real!! (but it was) then the worst part happened......we were heading back down the hill back home and manna somehow! found a puddle of mud and decided he was too tired to go back home and just made himself at home in that mud puddle........not cool.......so after a lot of coaxing, and a little anger he got out and we went home where i attempted to wash him off with pitchers of water.

over all it was an amazing adventure filled with mystery, action, and mud! so now im back at the house showered and snacking getting ready to watch a movie while manna is out on the porch drying himself off!

The End

oh the blogger....

i haven't blogged in a while, its not that i havent had anything to say, oh contraire! i have many things to say many times, its just that by the time i get to my computer (let alone the internet) i forget what i wanted to say, or it was just too short to even bother, or i just didnt feel like it. i have many things on my mind, like the revelation i got while hiking last week, a funny little anecdote i just had in my head, i could go on about health and feeling fat, and i could talk endlessly about the great night i had last night, i could tell you about the magical book i just finished (for the second time), i could tell you how my new job is going about the guy i served that was going to play at a plumbers convention....i just havent written about any of it yet.

so just know reader that i do want to share my life with you and i will get there eventually im just taking my time :)