That I may know you, really know you

You are all I need.

Only you can fill a land with void.

You are all I need.

You alone.

Affirmation

I've got to tell you what happened last night

and what God taught me last night.

I play in an ensemble made up of some of the best

current and past band directors.

Mostly older men.

Directed by a talented and passionate older gentleman.

Well, last night I was hanging out talking 

and noticed an old band director friend.

Another friend and I were talking about this man

and the first time we both met him

when all of a sudden

 I had a swoon attack.

Believe it or not

I swooned.

Hard.

Later on we finish rehearsal, I get in my car

and onto the road when I start feeling crummy.

So I start talking to God and asking him why am I feeling so crummy?

I thought back to rehearsal and realized 

I had gotten a lot of flattery before and after rehearsal.

From certain people and not from certain people;

but a lot of attention from older men.

And it dawned on me that I was craving

 affirmation and attention

from those older men I had been talking to.

So I was asking God why do I feel the need 

for affirmation and attention from these men?

I thought and thought and thought.

Then I called my grandad,

the wisest person I know,

and I asked him, and Ernie, why I was feeling this.

And they thought,

and my grandad said,

'Well don't you think men also want affirmation from women?'

'Well, yes.' I said.

'But it seems more prominent (needy) in women.'

They said that it's completely natural to want affirmation from the opposite sex

(keeping in mind to set boundaries, and know that your

true identity is in God alone.)

But woman was made from man,

and when a man and woman marry they are joined in a union.

A very powerful union

made by God.

And when you are together in this unity you are 

affirming each other without even using words.

So it is natural for our hearts to long for this godly unity.

Why does it happen to us women?

I guess we're just longing for that Genesis 2:24 covenant

to become one flesh.

A suitable helper.

I told my grandparents that sometimes 

it just seems to get in the way of things.

Boys, Onions, and other important matters

Okay, spring break part one = success.

Really awesome, amazing friends,

one niece that is too cute, 

two nephews that are just precious!

And a little bit of good family time.

I learned more about love languages

especially in my girl friends.

I learned more about my love languages. (plural)

And in general fell more in love with some great girls.

Fact:

My love languages are;

(in order)

quality time

physical touch.

Although I'm pretty easy and tested fairly even across the board

those are definitely my top two.

I love puppy piles, 

and for long periods of time.

But I also realized that my physical touch 

is

a little rough...

I enjoy fighting and I have tough skin.

(Cut me but I won't bleed.)

When I push I like to be pushed back

(iron sharpening iron.)

So, typically during girl quality time we talk about boys.

Surprise!

And it was concluded

that I want a strong man.

A man who will push back and win.

(Don't get me wrong here

he will treat me with love and respect.)

But when I fight him I want him to win,

maybe not every time,

but I can't have a pushover for a husband.

Period.

The key with this though is Jesus.

Listen, you know what I want

and you know, more than I do, what I need.

So this is me giving this to you.

It doesn't mean I won't pray about it any more

but I trust you and your timing.

One last thing,

onion breath takes forever to go away!

Spring Break!!!!!!!! (pt. 1)

So since I don't work in just one school, and since none of their spring breaks line up, my spring break will take up a couple of weekends until the end of school! :)

I'm super excited about it. It will consist of things like:

and this,

hopefully a little of this,

and possibly some of this,

I couldn't be more excited.

Right now...

What I'm listening to right now:

I'd never seen the ballet until now. 

Fact: I love male dancers (not in the "they're sexy" way 

but in the way their bodies are so rectangular, i love 

lines.)

The human body is SO cool, 

and secretly I wish they were all robots that would make my day...

also I love the end of this piece.

What I love right now:

(Pookie)

Really awesome friends who speak truth to my heart.

I also really love Love.

a.k.a. Jesus

He's really great.

Just sayin'

What do you say when you run out of thanks

What do you say when you run out of thanks,

What do you say 

when there are too many things to be thankful for?

What do you say when you are being constantly blessed,

when everything seems like it is going God's way,

when before you even finish saying 'thank you' for one thing

5 more things happen to be thankful for?

How can I thank a God who LITERALLY gives me everything?

How can I thank a God who literally provides EVERYTHING for me?

How do you thank a God who pours out in abundance

everything and anything you've ever wanted 

then everything else you can't even think of!

How do you thank a God who already knows, before you do,

everything you need 

and

everything you want?

How do you thank a GOD who will give you almost anything you ask

and give you anything you pursue?

And on top of that...

He thinks I am the COOLEST person in the world!

cool...

Yes

"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and His rule." Matt. 5:3 Mess.

Psalm 119:9-16

9-16 How can a young person live a clean life? 
      By carefully reading the map of your Word. 
   I'm single-minded in pursuit of you; 
      don't let me miss the road signs you've posted. 
   I've banked your promises in the vault of my heart 
      so I won't sin myself bankrupt. 
   Be blessed, God; 
      train me in your ways of wise living. 
   I'll transfer to my lips 
      all the counsel that comes from your mouth; 
   I delight far more in what you tell me about living 
      than in gathering a pile of riches. 
   I ponder every morsel of wisdom from you, 
      I attentively watch how you've done it. 
   I relish everything you've told me of life, 
      I won't forget a word of it.

⁹ How can a young man keep his way pure? 
       By living according to your word.

 ¹⁰ I seek you with all my heart; 
       do not let me stray from your commands.

 ¹¹ I have hidden your word in my heart 
       that I might not sin against you.

 ¹² Praise be to you, O LORD; 
       teach me your decrees.

 ¹³ With my lips I recount 
       all the laws that come from your mouth.

 ¹⁴ I rejoice in following your statutes 
       as one rejoices in great riches.

 ¹⁵ I meditate on your precepts 
       and consider your ways.

 ¹⁶ I delight in your decrees; 
       I will not neglect your word.