It's probably time

"When you give your testimony, heaven Literally manifests around you and Literally drives away all demons." Brad McClendon

I love telling my testimony, well actually it's mixed emotions of shame and sadness from my past mixed with excitement for being able to claim who I am now and who I now belong to and serve!

I grew up in the church, pretty literally, my dad was the worship director and besides going to church every Sunday and Wednesday my sisters and I would play around in the church during his rehearsals and sometimes after school. It was a lovely childhood really, the church was beautiful and very magical for a child able to run around the property and explore all the parts of the church.

But I was also sensitive to the spiritual life around me and often wrote that it felt like I had a war in my head literally between good and evil. The enemy planted fear and sadness into my young mind and at the time I didn't understand Truth, the truth about me and the truths about life and how to stand my ground.

I struggled for years with depression and feeling like I was faking life and tried my hardest to "be a christian." I went to church all the time and listened to christian music but the war was still waging in my head and the temptations of the world were starting to clamor for my attention. 

So at the end of my 8th grade year going into high school I literally told God I'm done, I'm putting you on hold, I want to do my own thing and experience 'life' I think the exact words were a little more vulgar but you get the idea. I was still fearful of going to hell so I decided I would do the "Christian" thing after high school or maybe after college, whenever I could move to a new place and 'start over' I would totally do it then.

So I went through high school trying to destroy myself and check as many things off the "social checklist" I could, alcohol, pot, boys, sneaking out, parties all the things I thought normal kids did. Going into college was a total different story with no parents around I could do whatever I wanted and continued to destroy body and soul drinking more than my little body could take hanging out with unhealthy people and boys...

Then the christmas of my sophomore year my middle sister (Courtney), my parents and myself were sitting on the kitchen floor talking. Courtney was telling us about this pastor that had been coming up to Boone and mentoring some of her guy friends and some of the stories he told. Stories about God radically moving in churches, people being miraculously healed and stories of people seeing angels and visions from heaven! Our church growing up never did things like that, I had no idea that God would actually want to show up on earth or have a relationship with us or even relate to us!

To be continued...